Love without words
by Love.HG.GG.D.PLL.HP.VD
Summary: What happened after the war between Katniss and Peeta? A story about how they grow back together.
1. Peeta

**Authors note: Hello! First, let me apologize for my english. I'm thirteen years old and I'm from the Netherlands, so I'm not so good with the grammatic stuff. Well, I hope you enjoy my story. Please let me know what you think!**

I wake up, screaming and crying. Always those terrible nightmares. Wish Peeta was here to make them go. He would understand like nobody else. Not my mom not Gale, not all my other loved ones. Just him. But he isn't here. He's at his own house. He still has flashbacks of the things that the Capitol said to him. That I'm bad. That I hate him. That I'm not against the Capitol, but with them. That he hates me for that. That he wants to kill me. I found out how much I actually care about him. It hurts me that he doesn't remember a lot of the beautiful things we've been through together. But he begins to remember that he always cared about me, even when I wasn't caring about him. How much he loved me. How much he loves me now. Cause I know he loves me, that he wants to create a future with me. I heard him talk about that with Gale in the basement of Tigris, weeks ago. The boy with the bread is an enormous important part of my life now. Without him, I can't survive. I need his warmth, not Gale's anger and resentment. That's why it's a good thing that Gale is somewhere else now. I can try to find myself now. Try to create a life with Peeta. I know that it's never gonna be normal again, I don't even know if our relationship is gonna work. Maybe is it too much, after all we've been through. He has to remember what we have before we start over anyway. He knows that I always act our relationship, but I find out that some things were real maybe, like the kiss in the cave and the kiss on the beach. That I slowly began to love him. Cause that's true. I love this boy. I need him. I need him now. I stand up and run through my dark house to the phone. He almost picks up immediately.

'Hello?' he says.

'Pee..Peeta?' I ask with a vibrating voice.

'Yes. Katniss, is that you?'

'Yes.'

'What's going on? Did you have a nightmare? Should I come over to you?'

Yes! I think. I wanna be with you.

'O..only if you want to', I stutter.

'Sshht, calm down, Katniss', he says comfortingly. 'I'm coming over right now.'

I hang up and sit down on the couch. A few minutes later Peeta comes in in his sweatpants and white t-shirt. I run to him and throw myself into his arms. After some hesitation he also puts his arms around me. I feel his hands on my back. This is our first body contact since the time I kissed him in the Capitol. I am so happy that I can touch him normally again that I begin to cry. And then I feel his hands fists. I detach myself from our embrace and look at him. His pupils are so big again that you almost can't see his beautiful blue irises. I take his face in my hands and look him in the eyes.

'Hey, shht, it's not real', I whisper.

He stares at me and I see in his eyes that he fights the nightmares in his mind. I touch his cheek to calm him, until his pupils get the normal size. He sighs. I get my hand off his cheek and look at him. We sit down on the couch.

'Are you okay?' I ask worried.

He nods. 'I will always have these things, Katniss. The nightmares and flashbacks will never go away.'

'I know. But that doesn't hold me. I need you!'

'Katniss, why do you need me?' he asks. 'Our love was fake. At least it was for you. I don't get it anymore.'

'At little pieces of our love I fooled myself. I was so busy with convincing people that I really loved you that I didn't know what real was what I felt for you and what wasn't. Only when I saw you on the TV in the Capitol and that you weren't be there with me to protect me from the nightmares, I realized that I needed you more than I thought, Peeta. I need you to survive. I can't live without you.' I look at him. We don't say anything for a very long time. Then he says: 'So Gale was right after all.'

I know exactly what he's talking about, but he doesn't know that, so I act like I don't understand.

'What?'

'He said that you would choose the one you think you can't survive without. He said that it was me. Like you kissed me in the arena, you never kissed him like that. I thought you choosed him, though. I know you really love him. But you have chosen me. Because you say you can't survive without me. Gale knows you better than I do.'

'We spent a lot of time in the woods together, talking', I say. 'That's why he knows me better. And he knows me longer than you do.'

'I wanna know you better', he says. 'The only normal things I know about you are these: you are good with a bow and arrow, you feel most comfortable when you're in the woods, your favourite color is green, you're very stubborn, you're birthday is 8th May. You're seventeen years old, you're dad died when you were eleven years old and I'm in love with you since my fifth.'

'I wouldn't say that's not much', I whisper. We sit in silence for a moment, while I try to gether the courage I need to ask him an important question. I inhale deeply and say as quiet as I can: 'You're still in love with me. Real or not real?'

He doesn't say anything. Then he nods slowly.

'Real.. Besides the flashbacks and nightmares I still feel the same about you.'

When I hear him saying that, a warm feeling spreads in my chest. The boy with the bread walked to my heart and settled himself there with all his warmth. The warmth goes to every tip of my body. It's such a nice feeling, that I smile. Yes, I, Katniss Everdeen, smile, for the first time since I came back home. Gosh, this boy is good for me.

When he smiles back, all I can do is look at his lips. How would it be to feel them against mine? It's so long ago...


	2. Real

**Authors Note: Hey, here's the second chapter! Enjoy!**

The days after Peeta and I start to do more things together. I'm surprised about how fast he's going back to the normal Peeta. He still has his periods, but he fights to them and makes them go away. We talk a lot. Two weeks after our night-conversation we ga for a picnic in the meadow. Peeta convinced me to go outside. I haven't been outside since the rebellion. But today, it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining and the flowers in the meadow are wonderful. We sit down on the blanket. I close my eyes.

'Hmm', I murmer. The sun on my skin feels amazing. I've missed the feeling.

'I told you', Peeta says.

'I didn't believe you', I say back.

'Of course you didn't', Peeta says with a little smile. 'You're so stubborn'.

'And I will always be.'

'I know. I like it.'

'Good.'

We eat in silence.

Then I ask: 'Peeta, what are we going to do?'

'Now?'

'No, I mean with our lives.'

'We try to forget what we've been through', Peeta answers, looking at me.

'We can't', I say.

'Then we at least try to keep each other alive.'

'Cause that's what we do', I complete his sentence.

'Exactly.'

We finish our picnic, and I stand up, reach my hand out to his and say: 'Let's go for a walk.'

It's nice to feel conected with our hands. Like friends, not for show. It reminds me of how Peeta and I became friends at the Victory Tour. I wonder if he remembers that.

'Peeta, do you remember things? Of us?'

He looks at me. We stop walking and we sit down on a rock.

'Yes, I do. Not everything. Just some. Only I don't know what's real and what isn't.'

'We can play the 'Real or Not Real?' game if you want to?'

'Okay', he says. 'Uhm, we slept together on the train of our Victory Tour and our second Hunger Games. Real or not real?'

'Real.'

'Why?'

'We both had nightmares. When we slept together, they didn't come. And if they did, though, you calmed me.'

'No other reasons?' He asks. 'I mean why you slept with me?'

I shake my head.

'So we never went intimate?'

'No!' I stare at him with big eyes. Why does he ask that?

'Okay, okay! It was just a question. Sometimes it's a little annoying to not remember things, you know.'

'I understand, Peeta. I'm sorry, I over-reacted.'

'It's fine. It's kind of a weird question, isn't it?'

'It absolutely is.'

We walk back home and I go for a shower while Peeta makes dinner. I feel the warm water against my skin. It's just like the warmth of the sun. I wash my hair and get out the shower. I wrap a towel around my body and a smaller towel around my hair. I walk to my bedroom to grap some clothes. Between some clothes I see a sweatshirt. It's Peeta's. He must have left it here on the days we worked on the book, before the Quarter Quell. I put my nose against the neck of the sweatshirt. It still smells like Peeta. I decide to put it on. I grap some jeans out of the closet and get down the stairs. Peeta's still busy with dinner. He has pulled his sweater off and stands there in his T-shirt. I aloud myself to look at him with other eyes. I lean my head against the wall and stare at him. He still hasn't noticed me. I look at his blonde hair, which is a little messy. I look at his eyelashes. His eyelashes are so long and beautiful. I let my eyes go down on his body. You can see his abs through his T-shirt. He's so strong. He's so perfect. He's so handsome. Did I just think that? Peeta Mellark is handsome? Yes, I really did. Because he is. Then he notices me.

'Hey'.

'Hey'.

He stares at me.

'Isn't it a little weird that I know that sweatshirt?' he asks.

'No, it's yours.' I answer.

'Oh. Why do you have it?'

'I think you left it here when we worked on the book, you know, before the Quarter Quell.'

'Aha. Why are you wearing it?' He didn't ask it hardly, but his eyes were daring me and there was a little smile at his lips.

'Because it smells like you', I say honestly.

'You like my scent?'

'Yes, I do.'

'What does it smell like?'

'It smells sweet and bready', I say with a smile. I walk over to him. Suddenly he brings his face closer to mine. It scares me a little, but I don't walk away for it.

'You like sweetness, Katniss?' Oh my god, his lips are so close to mine. I nod. And then he kisses me. It's a little one, his lips touches mine barely, but there's the feeling again. The hunger I felt on the beach and in the cave.

'Sweet enough?' he asks, while putting his forhead against mine. I decide to act like I'm a little disappointed.

'Well, I think you can do better', I say daring.

'O, you think so, Everdeen?'

'Yes, I do. But maybe you can prove it to me?' I ask with a little smile.

'I think I can't say no to that', he says, and he pulls his lips against mine again. This time the kiss is much deeper, intense. And this time, it feels real.

And then I realize it.

This is our first real kiss.


	3. Love

**Authors note: Hellooo! I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I'm very busy with school and I just didn't have inspiration. If you have any requests, please tell me! Thanks for the reviews, by the way, I'm glad you like my story :) Here, my next chapter, like you wanted. Hope you like it! Please review!**

* * *

That night we eat dinner without saying something. I just look at him. His eyelashes are so fascinating. Then he looks up. I blush and look away.

'What?' he asks with a little smile.

'Nothing', I answer.

'Katniss, don't lie to me', he says teasingly

Damn, he knows me too well.

'You're eyelashes are so beautiful', I say, while looking at my shoes.

'You think so?' he asks surprised. I nod. 'But they're so blonde. You almost can't see them.'

'You can see them in the light. They're very long. I noticed them while we worked on the plantbook of my family, you know, almost two years ago.'

He shakes his head. 'Sorry, I can't remember.'

'Don't you remember anything?' I ask.

'No, I remember some things. The memories come back, step by step. But it will be years before I remember everything.'

'That must be horrible.' Two years of your life, just completely gone. I couldn't live anymore. It ruins your whole life. But Peeta is much stronger than me. I'm so happy he is. If he wasn't that strong, I probably wasn't alive now.

'Yes, it is. You know what I miss the most, Katniss?' I shake my head. 'Our beautiful moments. I saw them on TV, I rewatched both of the Hunger Games we were in. I see us, kissing, walking hand in hand, hugging and I just don't remember how it felt. Just, when we kissed in the kitchen, I feel so much, that I almost explode.'

'But you could handle it, cause you kissed me again', I say.

'Yes. That's because I have another very strong feeling.'

'Do you.. Do you.. still... love me?' I stutter. He said he was in love with me, a couple of days ago, but I want to know it for sure.

Then the door slams open. Haymitch stands in the door-opening. 'Hello, lovebirds, enjoying your meal?'

Peeta and I keep silent.

'Am I interupting or something?'

We both shake our head. 'Then could you please answer my question?'

'Yes, Haymitch, absolutely, Peeta is very good at cooking', I say, just to get rid of him.

'Do you have some food for me?' Haymitch asks, while he staggers to us.

'Are you serious, Haymitch? You don't come outside for weeks, and when you do, finally, you just come to ask if we have some food for you? You are very heartless', I say. He's so rude.

'Wow, I absolutely see a new Katniss Everdeen! What did you do to her, boy?' he asks Peeta.

'Haymitch, please.'

'Okay, I'll begin over', he says, while lifting his hands up. 'Hey, sweetheart, how are you doing?'

'I'm fine, thank you, Haymitch', I say, calming down a little.

'And how are you, bread boy?'

'I'm okay, how are you, Haymitch? You don't smell that good', he says, while giving me a wink.

'Argh, shut up, boy', Haymitch says, ans he lowers himself down on a chair. 'C'mon, give me some food.'

Peeta, the kindness himself, stands up and goes to the kitchen.

'Don't give him too much. He doesn't deserve it', I yell. He laughs. 'Trust me, honey.'

Haymitch' eyebrows shoot op at Peeta saying "honey" to me. 'So, you and breadboy, huh?'

'It's nothing', I say, trying to avoid the subject.

'The word "honey", isn't nothing, sweetheart.'

Peeta comes back, with a full bord. 'Peeta! I said don't give him too much!'

'And I said: "Trust me, honey".' Peeta reacts.

Haymitch is very hungry and takes a big bite. 'Goddamnit! You are NOT NICE! NOT NICE!' he yells.

'What did you do with his food?' I ask Peeta with a smile.

'Pepper', is the only thing he says. 'Much pepper.'

I laugh. O god, this is really funny.

'YOU TWO ARE VERY DISLIKELY PEOPLE!' Haymitch screams. He runs to the kitchen and starts to rins his mouth.

'Hey, Haymitch, you know that doesn't help?' Peeta says.

'Wraah! You're serious! Okay, I'm going home, I don't think you're going to see me again soon.' And he walks out of my house.

I roll on the floor laughing. Peeta joins me. After half an hour or so, we stand up.

'Uhm, I think I'm going home', Peeta says. He wants to walk away, but I grab his hand. 'Please stay with me.'

'Katniss, I can't. What if I get a flashback? I could hurt you!'

'Then I calm you down and make it go away, just like the last time.'

'It's too dangerous.'

'Then stay with me until I fall asleep? Please?'

He nods. 'Okay.'

We walk up the stairs and I fall on my bed. Peeta puts the blanket over me, sits on the bed next to me and holds my hand.

'Please lay down.' He does what I say. He puts his arms around me and I lay my head in his neck, so I can smell his scent.

And just before I fall asleep, I hear his voice. He whispers so softly I can barely hear him.

'I love you.'


End file.
